How to live with man.

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t respond in a reasonable manner to my requests.” Yes, I know: No one really says that sentence in that way. But that is the basic sentiment that a lot of my female clients express to me about their boyfriends and husbands. Mostly, it’s just my job to just keep making pretty hair on their heads while telling them, “I hear ya,” so they end up feeling beautiful, emotionally open, relieved, reassured and, ultimately, empowered!
But, as a writer, I get to say, “I’ve been doing your hair for years, for almost as long as you’ve been doing guys, and you still keep saying the same frustrating thing about your men. Listen to yourselves, beyochs! Men aren’t ever going to respond in a manner that is reasonable to you because we’re guys and we respond to all requests, and all stimuli, as guys. And you woman keep expecting men to respond to your requests as you would like: as a woman. That’s insanity!”
Oh yes, I’m going to give you a straight-to-the-point tutorial, with bullet points, on how you can get your man to do what you want him to do. But first, let me tell you how my overly-broad rant was born. Today, my client, “Betsy,” came in for her highlights and she was typically depressed because her husband was being distant and they were having another, nothing out of the ordinary dry spell in their communication. He didn’t understand that when she asked him to do things like take out the trash, that it was helping her to have more time for him and doing other things like make dinner reservations, organize the cleaning help and nanny, and buy his family their Christmas gifts. I love this stuff because a)it’s not my problem, and b)hearing this stuff constantly assures me that I’m not crazy and that I’m just one of the human race who has the same problems (not exactly tho) that no one talks about publicly enough! Oh yes, and c) because I’m a writer and I get to process my clients' thoughts and stories and wrap and weave them around my fictional characters so I don’t have to actually delve into my own psyche or process my own personal frustrations with women and men. In other words, I get to write and judge.
Which leads me to my first bullet point:
• We will avoid processing any information, emotional or otherwise, if our mind is on something else.
So if you want your husband to help pick up, or watch the baby “for just ten minutes!,” when he gets home from work , just take a cheap Libby brand glass and smash it on the kitchen floor and yell any old thing about going crazy. After your less-than-a-minute tirade, your man will be glad to watch the baby because his mind had immediately let go of his day at work and he will then be in the mode of trying to placate and appease you, the mother of his child. (So what if it's out of fear.) But if you try and explain to him why you need a breather and how much you really do while he’s at work, you’re going to get glazed eyes and you’ll only get ten minutes. Go for results. Not reason. For the next time: always switch it up--never repeat the same tirade.
• If we nod yes to your request, and have a glazed look in our eyes, it means that we checked the listening box in the “I’m doing a good thing list,” but we will not remember what you just asked us. The memory of your request will be gone in less than 7 minutes. And if we know you saw that look that lets us off the hook.
My boss, Allison, sometimes forgets that I’m guy (believe me, when you work with and for women, it’s easy to do, even if you’re a straight dude…another article...), and sometimes she gives me pertinent work information too quickly or casually for me to process or remember. She told me, in casual passing (she’ll deny that), that there are these little forms to fill out if I wanted to take a day off, which would insure that my clients didn’t schedule on a day that I was not going to be there. Simple. Right? Well, I remember filling something out, but I don’t think I gave them to her. Doesn’t the front desk process paper things? (I do remember thinking that.) Anyhoo, I think I put them on the front desk… Story short: I was calling a bunch of clients a day ahead of their scheduled appointments to tell em, “Allison, didn’t tell me how to submit the forms so….” What Allison should have done, in the first place--to snap me out of what I was thinking, or not thinking at all (she saw the glazed eyes!), was to give me a mental & emotional picture; such as how I would feel like shit and be embarrassed if I had to personally call my clients to tell them that I would not be there for their scheduled appointments.
F__k the one-minute management stuff if you’re trying to make a man remember your request: use scary mental visuals. Remind men that you might come unhinged if your request might not be completed as stated. Scary visuals and memories work.
• If we get quiet, it means we are rejecting your request but are avoiding any confrontation on the issue.
This is the one where you get to be very quiet. No tirades or threats, and no reasoning! A good stare down will disrupt any rejection of your request to something like, “I really think the dogs need to be walked now.” Of course he doesn’t want to walk the dogs. Dexter’s on and setting the DVR would mean taking his hand away from his beer bottle. But a disturbing long stare into the side of the head is so unnerving that he’ll just get up and do it without any wasted long winded explanations.
• If we ask you for details about something like, “what exactly do you want me to pick up at the store?” We are asking you for simple list on a piece of paper.
Do not go into a diatribe about why you want the shit, who birthday it’s for and when we are giving it to them… TMI! If you want men to actually remember to take the list with to the store: paperclip it to his wad of cash.
• If you’ve done something fabulous and want him to notice, leave out the tell-tale signs for him to see how much work you’ve put into doing it.
If you’ve got your hair done: wear a better than usual outfit & pumps, then have your Gay over for an early evening martini when he gets home. Most men are a little jealous of their woman's friendship with their Gays. If he's always relieved you are with your Gay so it gives him more time for football you will have to include your Gay's hot straight brother in your posse.

If you’ve taken it upon yourself to putty, sand and paint that short wall where he took down the partition between the kitchen and living room last winter: leave out the paint, and putty knifes and make sure you put a drop of paint on the cuff of his favorite blazer that he left on the stove the night before. When he gets home, apologize profusely for ruining his coat. He won’t be mad at all but he’ll feel like shit and you’ll probably get taken out to dinner.

If you've gotten Botox and you want him to notice, you're an idiot because you should know that no man can discern those subtle changes in his woman-friend-spouse's face because we are always looking down when we are listening to you.
Look, it’s about results and harmony. It’s not about training or getting men to think like women. I think if you ladies, and men who live with men, would just shift your thinking, we’d all be a lot happier and we wouldn’t even know why.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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For the love of blogging.

Oh my goodness,
I have not blogged since November 9th. Where has the time gone? Oh yes, I remember; I moved, I work as a hairdresser, and I'm publishing my first novel in less than a month.
But time, work, and passion are not the only reason that I have not blogged. The other reason was that I didn't really have anything that I wanted to write about. And that is a luxury for any blogger: To write what they want, when they want, and also write only when they are inspired to.
But most of my Social Media friends need to blog regularly and about things that they may not be as excited about as they would like. Blogging has become a gig that must be kept up regularly in hopes that it turns into a paid gig. We gain visitors to our blogs which give hits to web sites which begets followers on Twitter and Facebook. As the analytics could tell anyone who is watching, we can become very powerful tools which can push a restaurant or a product; should we deem the product worthy enough to blog about--or you pay us to write about it.
So, this is for the product companies who don't get it. Social Media is a wonderful tool for you to push your products. You may not understand it yet, but you had better start paying my friends what they are worth. Even I do not charge my Twitter clients full price when I do their haircuts and colors -- sometimes I comp them! These people are doing me a service by telling people if they had a good experience at my salon -- or not! The amount of people who read what my Social Media friends are saying is priceless and I appreciate it.
Social Media might seem like it might be too social and less analytics, but that is the beauty of it. It's social and it's about people, not numbers. But the numbers will follow the people. I'm proof. I only write what I love and my business and writing and Twitter and Facebook numbers have grown. And Yes, I can translate that to better sales than before I started a blog.
I am a lucky one. I do not make money from my blogging. I do not take kick-backs. I only write to make sure my name and brand is out there and I do it by blogging about things I'm passionate about.
Which leads me to tell you about what one of my clients invented: THE TODDY!
It's an environmentally friendly microfiber cloth made for scratch-free cleaning for your Blackberry, iPhone, iPad and any sensitive surface.

It's the perfect gift and I have 5 of them and my friends love them. AND YES, I got them for free! but Todd had no idea I was going to blog about his product. I really do love it and I hope he does well with his company. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

[Hey Todd, if your sales go through the roof....yeah, I'll take a few Toddy's...]

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Bad Swiffer, Baaaad

I just moved in with the person I'm going to live with for the rest of my life. I'm very happy. But, to make this new apartment my home, as well as his, I would like it to be the most healthy environment as possible for the both of us and our dogs. That means a clean house. But a clean house can only be a healthy house only when you use cleaning products that will not hurt your cats, dogs, children and your spouse or room-mates.

On my first foray into cleaning the floorboards and wood floors, I noticed that there was only a Swiffer WetJet system to do so. Oh noooo.... That may make a clean floor and it would certainly be very easy for me to use. But the mechanism is a big waste and the liquid "Multi Purpose" cleaner that you have to use to clean with is not good for my nasal passages, lungs or skin. On the label that I had on the Swiffer Wet Jet Refill, it only stated that it "contains cleaning agents," and yet it warned to keep away from Children and eye contact. The good Housekeeping seal was on the label too! Don't you want to know what is in the product?

I like to used cleaning products that will clean yet have no irritating perfumes nor disrupt my DNA or irritate any part of my body, or cause asthma or cancer. And I'm telling you, that Swiffer WetJet Refill liquid is not as healthy product to put on your floors as environmentally safe products, such as Method or Mrs. Myer's Green Day or make-your-owns. (See previous Cleaning Recipes)

The worst thing about the Swiffer system is that you can only buy their refill bottles with their product in it and their system only operates with a battery, which will run out, and it requires disposable cleaning pads that you have to constantly refill. What a bunch of landfill waste! Add up the costs to you, your health, and the environment. I could never feel good about using this product. I do not care how easy it is. My health and the health of the planet are too precious to me.

So what should you use? Well, don't throw the damned Swiffer in the trash just yet. Use a damp towel wrapped around the base of the Swiffer mop and use it to clean your floors. After each use, throw it in the washer with the other rags you used for cleaning that week. Saving to you, and saving the planet. Use only healthy products on the floor. Again, look at my previous post for that. And think about the next gadget that you buy to make your life easier. Come on: Is it really going to be that easy? Think again.

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10.10.10 Global Work Party

On the same day as the all-city participatory Chicago Marathon, there was something else going on. It was also something that everyone could find a way to participate in and it was something local and Global. On 10-10-10 there were 7347 separate events in 188 countries that all worked together to lower global carbon gas emissions. Globally, we are at 388 parts per million which will increase global warming. And 350 ppm is the minimum to reduce the damage we have already done to our climate and atmosphere. [350.org/en/about/science]
The events around the world were organized through http://www.350.org/ (get it….?) and the only guidelines given was to focus on solutions to the climate crisis. Some small towns and villages installed solar panels or wind turbines. Some cities had repair bike stations and bike rides. There were community gardens being planted, school children cleaning beaches and parks, and lots of farming and education. And hundreds of people around the world met each other, for the first time, and affirmed just how awesome each of us is as individuals and collectively are when we give a Sunday up to work and learn. I was energized by this event. Soul fed and blessed. I know I will be on a high for weeks because of my participation in just one of these 10.10.10 GLOBAL WORK PARTYs.
It was Chef Tom Leavitt’s idea to put together a bus ride from Chicago to Fairbury Illinois to visit Spence Farm. Tom is an advocate of using local produce and meats from sustainable farms. Everyone in Chicagoland uses his talents and catering skills for their holiday parties and events and dinner parties. http://www.whiteoakgourmet.com/ I had heard of Tom from my clients for years and it was his passion that brought together 45 individuals to for the Global Work Party. The day was about work. And we felt like we were at a great party.
When we arrived at Spence Farm, we were given a little introduction about the farm itself. It is completely sustainable, meaning they use every part of the crops they grow, from the seeds to the clippings for mulch. The ducks on the farm eat the insects, so: there is no reason for pesticides. The maple trees are used to tap syrup and their shade protects the pawpaw saplings. I encourage you to learn more about Spence Farm at http://www.thespencefarm.com/ Marty and his wife, Kris and their son Will, steward and operate the family farm and they are all delightful story tellers. We ate up Marty’s telling of how we could and should be eating only good non-genetically-altered fruits and vegetables; and why the pigs on his farm didn’t smell bad. [They are given a natural diet and no un-necessary antibiotics which keeps their digestion working well = no smell!] Particularly interesting to me was how Rick Bayless, of Chicago Restaurant and Frontera Grill fame, asked Marty to save the nearly extinct Iroquois White Corn. [Click here for that one.] We also ate up his heirloom tomatoes, and I had my first pawpaw which, to me, tasted and textured like a banana mixed with mango. Marty told us that science if finding out that pawpaw may be giving a natural hand in the fight against cancer. Keep those stories coming, Marty!
On a simple Sunday I missed this year’s Marathon but I helped harvest Spence Farm’s entire sorghum crop. (Makes Molasses) It was fun and it only took my group less than an hour. For Marty and his clan it would have taken a whole day. We planted his organic garlic crop. And we dismantled the tomato fences because they are now out of season. A delicious lunch of vegetarian and organic meat sandwiches was provided by City Provisions Delicatessen, 1818 West Wilson, which was also where our bus picked us up at 9am and dropped us off at 7pm. Please check them out:
http://www.cityprovisions.com/
Next year: twitter friends, facebook friends, buddies, my clients! & family: you are all coming with me to the farm. I had such a great time and I want to share this wonderful experience with you. It’s great to get out of the city and meet new people to learn, work and laugh with. Now I want to find out much more about natural and sustainable farming – something, I thought, I already knew enough about. I even took home some green tomatoes from Spence Farm and made fried green tomatoes from a recipe recommended by Rob Gardner, one of my farm-mates. He runs http://www.thelocalbeet.com/ which has wonderful information about local and sustainable farming and recipes such as the one I used by Melissa Graham of http://www.littlelocavores.blogspot.com/
350.org is founded by Bill McKibben and is an international campaign that's building a movement to unite the world around solutions to the climate crisis—the solutions that science and justice demand.

Oh yeah: I'm just a hairdresser who writes. I have a novel or two coming out next year. Every bit of my "pulp fiction" profits free me up to do more stories like these. MafiaHairdresser.com will keep you abreast. And please subscribe to this blog!

This is Farmer Marty talking to Rob Gardner of The Local Beet and Chef Tom Leavitt. They are talking about the genetically altered crops being farmed around them. I learned that organic farms have eco systems full of toads, bees, birds, ducks and healthy crops that can be used to seed next years crops. Not so with "Franken-crop" farms.

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Happy Dogs and Cats with Flower Essences

I had met my Yorkshire Terrier, Junebug, over six years ago when friends of mine, a couple, brought her to their home to join their family. Sadly, only a few months later, one of the couple died in a car accident; so Junebug only had one dad for many years. It was one year ago that I moved in with Junebug and her Dad when the condo I had been renting sold. Because Junebug’s dad’s job had changed and he began to travel, weeks at a time, I became very attached to her and her to me. And when I found an apartment that I wanted to move into, it was pretty apparent that the best thing for Junebug would be for her to move in with me. Because I honor my friends, I still think of them as Junbug’s dads so I’m her uncle and caretaker.
If you are the caretaker of pets, then I’m going to assume that you want them to be as happy and loved as you can possibly help them to be. And if your dog is anything like mine, you might have to spend a little extra time or attention with him or her to relieve them of stress or fears that keep them from being happy.
Because of Junebug’s breed, her small size, the way she was raised, and maybe loss or trauma in her life, she brings with her all kinds of luggage. She’s not been as readily receptive to other dog’s or stranger’s affections. She’s been cautious and shy. But she will do anything for food. It’s her favorite thing and she’d warm to anyone who is willing to give it to her.
Recently, Junebug began to act out in very unconventional ways so I consulted a pet communicator. (see blog) I will describe the specific behavior and how the pet communicator helped me in another blog. Here, I would love to tell you about one of the remedies that the pet communicator recommended to me to use to help Junebug stop her unwanted behavior: Flower Essences.
This was not a new remedy to me. In fact, I had been doing some volunteer work for a group called The Pet Ministry, and a guest speaker, Judy Toby, came to talk about her Pet and Canine OptiBalance Pet Formulas.
Per usual, I was the earliest member at the Pet Ministry meeting, Junebug was on my lap, and she growled at Judy when she first walked into the meeting room.
“Delightful!” Judy said. “Can I use your dog in a demonstration for my Stress and Trauma Relief formula?” Yes, Judy really said, “Delightful.” But although Junebug may be cute, she was not delightful if you woke her up from a nap or came at or near her too quickly. Without much further convincing, I let Judy put a few drops of her formula on my finger and let Junebug lick it off. (She'll eat anything!) Within minutes, Junebug was on her lap and then began greeting, with a wagging tail, the rest of the Pet Ministry as they each arrived. I had never seen my dog so open to meeting strangers before and, because I have used this formula regularly since then, I know it is the reason she is much more accepting of other dogs and people than she was ever before. All of my friends constantly comment about what a changed dog I have, compared to when they first knew her. The flower essences were worth months of dog training sessions to me and Junebug is never hyper or agitated or drowsy when I give them to her.
The more recent problem that led me to the Pet Communicator involves Junebug having to be gated in my room and, although it may be helping one problem, my little one is not used to not having the run of the apartment. While the Stress and Trauma Relief formula has helped my anti-social dog to be much more social and calm, it’s not specifically going to help me with Junebug’s barking when she’s left alone in my room during the day. So I just ordered the Separation Anxiety Formula. Of course, I’ll let you know how it goes, but I’m a big believer in natural remedies and this one is great. Go to Judy’s web site http://www.optibalancepet.com/ and check it out. The “Remedy Finder” is easy to use. Such as; If you have a dog that barks at storms or loud noises, you could use the Fears and Phobias Formula or the Stress and Anxiety Formula. There’s also a Hyper Dog Formula, Aggression Relief Formula and much more.
The website is also for the OptiBalance Cat and Bird formulas too.
I highly recommend using these natural flower essences to help your pets stay happy and healthy. They are tasteless and odorless and are so easy to give to your pet. They are not bad for their bodies and are great to use for changes in yours and your pets life, such as a move or a loss of a loved one, and they can be used in conjunction with behavior training.
No: Judy did not ask me to do a commercial for her. I do not get paid or get kickbacks for my blog. But if you try any of these Pet Flower Essence Flower Formulas, you can get $5 off your order just by using the code “Mafia” at the end of your on-line purchase button pushing. This is a special thank-you from Judy to me (and you!) when I told her I was going to write a rave about her wonderful product.

Order specific Flower Essence Formulas for your pet from http://www.optibalancepet.com/
I also recommend:
The Pet Communicator is Carol Shultz and you can reach her at: Carol@carolschultz.com
http://www.carolschultz.com/index.htm
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Chicago Police Officer runs the Chicago Marathon for LUNGevity Foundation

One of my clients is a Chicago Police Officer and she has been very inspiring to me over the many years that I have known her. Her tales of being an officer and humanist have made me proud to know her. And today she has inspired me again, so I’m going to share that inspiration with you.
As I was cutting Officer Sarah’s hair (she’s growing out her short Halle-Berry-do to long again), she told me that she was going to run in the Chicago Marathon this October.
I mentioned to her that I seemed to remember that she had once had a torn ACL in one knee and, by her own admission, was never really a “gifted runner.”
Officer Sarah told me that she’s not just running the Chicago Marathon for any kind of personal challenge but that she was running for the LUNGeveity Foundation.
Ah-ha. This sounded like the Sarah I knew. And she confirmed my thoughts that she is one of the most caring thoughtful women that I know when she further told me that she has been affected by the Cancer. Like most of us, we have lost friends and family to the Big-C fight, and we have breathed sweet-relief when our loved ones win that fight or go into remission.
Sarah told me the she did have a hard time asking people for donations for this worthy cause. I do not.
If you have been personally affected by Cancer or if you have a few extra pennies, dollars or more to give to the LUNGevity Foundation, I urge you to give what you feel you can today.
Here is Officer Sarah Donovan’s personal Fundraising Page.
http://events.lungevity.org/goto/TeamMeyers


Prayer, from the heart, is another form of giving. And learning about great causes can open your heart.

EAT-up LEARNing and PRAY for those you LOVE

The LUNGevity Foundation is at lungevity.org

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Green for Beginners, Phase Five

Green for Beginners, Phase Five
If you have read this little five part series, my hope is that your thinking has shifted on the subject of what it means to be green. Yes: it is trendy. Green is all the rage. If that is what brought you here, to phase five, that is great. But what about taking a step further, and become a green leader?; Now, or later!

Phase Five is taking your green knowledge and becoming a leader.
Are you thinking of all the ramifications of what being a green-leader means to you? Does something stick out in your mind? How about your condo association and the fact that you may not have recycling in your building? What if you are a parent and you share a common bond with other families because your children have asthma? It is just quite possible that people keep asking you why you have worm composter in your kitchen? (That's me!)
Okay, maybe you’ll never have a box of worms to eat your veggie-garbage. But most of us green people end up helping other green groups or starting our own groups from our own experience and out of our personal need to share it with others.

“Something must be done…,” comes up a lot in conversation when anyone talks about the environment, health, conservation, families, children and the waning sustainability of the Earth itself. There will be a time when you heart tells you that you are just the right person to be doing the things that must be done.
My own journey and green leadership came about because I was a member of a green group at my church called, The Green Ministry. We were to assist and help our members and minister to be more of a green-movement organization. The Bodhi Spiritual Center paid my $75 tuition to the Chicago Conservation Corps 3C program. In this program, I learned all-things about water, land, air & energy around Chicago. And the four week four day course also taught me how WE, as a city, relate to the world in our struggle to lower our carbon footprint.
Because of this course I became educated and enlightened and took the helm of The Green Ministry and eventually became a writer-activist for green. I also realized that the more I knew about the world and the green groups trying to save it, that I was just part of many other green leaders who can sleep at night because I know that we will achieve our individual and collective green-goals.
If you have some of that mind chatter going on in your head (pressure!), that I have mentioned in Phase one, and that voice is screaming “do something:” STOP THE NOISE!

I KNOW that my way of leading may not be your way. But you are already a leader; by doing and passing on what you know. You are a leader when you sign a petition to save ocean turtles. You are a leader when you teach your child to use cloth napkins or tell your neighbor why you unplug your appliances or keep the inside of your microwave spotless. (Clean microwaves use less energy and last longer.)
Yes, you can start a recycling program at your work. And you can start a viral letter writing campaign to get your favorite yogurt to stop using non-recyclable containers. It is all good. All you have to do is step up to the plate when you think it is your time to do so. There are plenty of green people to help you do what you need to do.
In Chicago, you can become a C-3 Leader: http://chicagoconservationcorps.org/blog
You can also request a C-3 speaker to come to you apt building to tell you how you can save water, compost, save energy and more.
Join an online Chat: www.Ecochatonline.com
Take a group of your friends to the Peggy Notebart Nature Museum: http://www.naturemuseum.org/index.php?id=104
Or you can be an accountant or letter stuffer for an organization that helps put solar power in Chicago Schools like: http://www.climatecycle.org
Maybe you can just post on Facebook, email your group of friends or tweet or blog about what you have learned and keep the green dialogue going. This is part of what I do. It is one way that I have been a leader. I do not know what Phase 6 will be for me, but I will step up when it calls me to.

Although we all have to stay on the green path, YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS ARE YOUR OWN.

Oh yeah, you cand also subscribe to this blog. It's not always green. Sometimes I'm just an entertaining writer--so buckle your seats for that.

Please order your copy of Mafia Hairdresser, the novel about my life as a hairdresser to a mob couple in the 80's, and subscribe to this blog!

Green for Beginners, Phase Four

Green for Beginners Phase 4
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).
I would not say that I am a “Christian.” (Although I was baptized and raised Catholic-ish.) And I do not believe that the any faith has the trademark on what is commonly called tithing. But it was not until I joined an inter-denominational church, [ www.bohdispiritualcenter.org ]that I really embraced tithing for myself. I willingly give 10% of my income to where I am spiritually fed. And I also willingly give my time and talents to those people, animals or causes that have a need where I can help.
Of course, I cannot always get to church to get “fed” and I cannot say yes to every cause or friend who needs my help. This is where the wisdom of age comes in.
This summer, I was inspired by so many people. They moved me by their spirit and heart on projects such as community gardens, books they wrote, people they’ve helped. Many times I just wrote out a full check for my 10%, or a portion of it, and divvied up the rest to other organizations that inspired me. I also put aside time to shine light on causes or organizations that may have needed some publicity. I always blog for green. And I’ll always donate my time and services to my personal friends’ endeavors.
Why am I telling you this when this article is about being green? Because that is your next step: Phase 4 out of 5 of being green. I’m asking you to give to what moves you. Maybe you don’t have to donate your money. Maybe you don’t actually have to plant a tree or clean a beach. Maybe you just have to take time to walk in a forest preserve or along a beach? I know that the time, or money, or attention that you put into your own personal green journey will make you happier and give you energy and pride and countless other gifts. I believe this because I feel blessed when I do these things. Your efforts, whether they be monetary or seemingly inconsequential, will make you a better person and that alone will open up your heart to knowing when and where what you should personally give to being green.

To existential for you?
Here is are some things that you could donate your time or talent or treasure to:
Go to the Lincoln Park or Brookfield Zoo. Think about what a wonderful planet we have and donate to a specific endangered animal species that you see and love and that needs your funding.
Or join the World Wildlife Federation. They send you a great magazine and have great Green Gifts for you to send that actually help endangered species. http://www.worldwildlife.org

Oceans Conservancy is a great organization to join too! http://www.oceanconservancy.org/site/PageServer?pagename=abt_aboutus

If you want to help monthly with beach clean-up in Montrose Harbor, email Leslie at: cakile@att.net

Outings, petitions, environmental laws being passed and more: http://www.sierraclub.org Join the Sierra Club.

Write a blog or email about a cause that moved you to action.
Join a green group such as Green group in your neighborhood or a business one like Sustainable Hub http://www.foresightdesign.org http://www.foresightdesign.org/blog

Stuff envelopes for a green group or read an article in Mindful Metropolis and email the writer to tell him or her that you liked it. GREEN Groups and people need some lovin!


Here are the 5 Phases of Green for Beginners.
• Phase One: Let the Idea of being green blossom and get rid of the mind chatter of why you would or would not be green.
• Phase Two: Take Action in your own home and your work place.
• Phase Three: Learn what is interesting to you about being green.
• Phase Four: Join a website or cause that you are interested in and learn and contribute your time, talents or dollars.
• Phase Five: Become a Leader in your own household or workplace or neighborhood.

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Green for Beginners, Phase Three

If you have read Phase 1 & 2 of Green for Beginners, you’ll discover that the conservation of Water is of great interest to me.
This is why:
• Around the world, 1.2 billion people do not have access to clean drinking water.
• Every year, over 2 million people, mostly young children, die from preventable diarrhea contracted from drinking unsafe water.
• Every day, people suffer and die because they cannot access clean, safe water.*
And did you know that, although vast, the Great Lakes are vulnerable to the removal of water at rates faster than can be naturally replenished. 33 million people drink Great Lakes water daily, but no current law assures the long-term supply of this vital resource.*
Through my own personal green journey, I have learned that we have a problem. Here, in Chicago. Around the world. And in my heart, I feel deeply for anyone who does not have fresh drinking water.
This revelation may be interesting to you. Interesting enough for you to take five minute showers? Or interesting enough for you to have two small worm composters in your spare room to put natural food scraps in so you don’t put anything down the disposal/drain. But maybe this is not what you can or want to do.

Maybe you have children. I assume that you want your children to grow up healthy, without allergies and without exposure to cancer causing chemicals. I bet that you will be more inclined to research such subjects such as making your own green cleaners and purchasing non-chemically treated clothing and bedding.
Of course I’ll give you a list of wonderful websites and writers and bloggers that I think you should check out. But being green means that you have to go where your own heart takes you. I do not judge someone walking down the street with a plastic water bottle filled with imported water, nor should I scowl at or lecture someone who throws litter onto the street. I’m just going to trust that they are doing their small part in the Green Movement because, in truth, we all have to, sooner or later, or our planet will not sustain us. And for all I know, the litterer is just having a bad day and they may be a fighter for justice in another green arena other than the one I am in.
Phase 3 of Green for Beginners is to learn more Green, in what is of interest to you, after you’ve made a few changes in your home or/and office.

This one will tell you what we are doing to protect the Great Lakes: http://www.environmentillinois.org/protect-lake-michigan/ecosystem-protection-act *
If you like following what is going on with Animal conservation and all things environmental, sign up with http://www.care2.com/ They will send you emails where you can easily cast votes and writer you senators, congressmen and even President Obama.
New to me but I like this blog and they have a recycling big recycling monster. http://www.biggreenhead.com/ Recycling news in Chicago. http://www.chicagorecycling.org/
http://www.squidgonegreen.com has it all. Good food. Solar power information. Great links.
If you are interested in Gardening and community gardens in Chicago. http://www.petersongarden.org/ and follow @theyarden on twitter
Great Blog for mothers: http://icountformyearth.wordpress.com/
On Facebook LIKE Dr. Sarah Warren. Friend her. She's a great resource.
A great book that has been a big help to me: The Green Book, Three Rivers Press, by Elizabeth Rogers & Thomas M. Kostigen.
So do some internet browsing, read, LIKE and Follow. This is a great way to learn and pass on some very good information and inspiration.

Here are the 5 Phases of Green for Beginners.
• Phase One: Let the Idea of being green blossom and get rid of the mind chatter of why you would or would not be green.
• Phase Two: Take Action in your own home and your work place.
• Phase Three: Learn what is interesting to you about being green.
• Phase Four: Join a website or cause that you are interested in and learn and contribute your time, talents or dollars.
• Phase Five: Become a Leader in your own household or workplace or neighborhood.

Please subscribe to this Blog for Green for Beginners and more.

Please order your copy of Mafia Hairdresser, the novel about my life as a hairdresser to a mob couple in the 80's, and subscribe to this blog!

Take down the Deflector Shield when you have Conflict

I had a busy week and I was tired. There was still no excuse for my behavior when I woke up extra-cranky one Saturday morning and promptly told three very nice and lovely ladies to take a flying leap off a dump truck into a stinking landfill. Yeah-NO, I did not really say it like that. In fact, I didn’t actually speak a mean word to any of them. Instead, I Facebooked and emailed a couple of my special-choice words to all of them. Two of the ladies responded. One did not.
We all have many self-rules which we follow in handling conflict with our fellow man/woman. Sometimes we follow our rules and get good results. Sometimes we don’t follow them and we get good results. Sometimes we just don’t get the results that we can call “good” no matter what we do. In all three situations, with my lady friends, I was surprised.

Here’s my own self rules.

• Take down the Deflector Shield: If I feel defensive or if I feel like I really want to “rub their nose in it” or “teach them a lesson,” I'd prefer to stay away from the “enemy” until I can visualize the person as my best friend and that we have no sides to the story; just friends.
  
• Talk on the phone or in-person whenever possible. It is not easier to put off the call. You can get instant two-way communication and instant relief to a situation which you may have built up in your mind. And, sometimes, parties might have to squabble to get back to being BFF’s. You’ll both come out okay if you both hear that the most important reason you are communicating is to strengthen the friendship.
  
• Give yourself some time when a negative incident occurs between yourself and the other person. The theory is to sleep on it and your wisdom will take over.
  Be thankful that you have a person in your life who you have conflict with. Like all relationships, they are probably the best person in your life, right now, to learn how to communicate through this particular conflict.
  

Here’s where I went astray.
A gal-pal of mine spent years in chemo and radiation therapies and has had a ton of surgeries for cancer. She’s been in remission more than once. She is in debt with medical bill, a very spiritual person, and I love the heck out of her. When she asked me to do her highlights and cuts for free, I felt honored to be able to help out. It’s been a couple of years “comping” her, and I’ve felt good about doing that for her. I got to use my time and talents to help someone. It’s a gift – to me.
On the day before my cranky-Saturday, I got a Facebook message and an email from her asking me if I could do her hair again. She needed it that same day because it was important for her to feel good and she had just found out that she had stage four cancer. Both messages were not read by me until the next morning because I had been doing hair for 18 hours for a fashion show. I was exhausted when I read her hair pleas and her admission to non-remission.
After I read the message, I felt awful. I would have loved to help her out but it was physically impossible. I found out too late, and my weekend was already planned. And then I got very angry. I’m a good hairdresser with a good book and I get a few of these types of emails, texts and Facebook messages a week. Granted, not everyone has cancer, but it seemed to me that a lot of my clients had been wanted to get in for services, last minute, and I had plenty of spaces in the past week’s schedule-IF they had called ahead. I let those warrented or Diva-pissy thoughts overwhelm me and then I sent my own message back. I told her that she should have given me a little more heads up and it just made me feel like shit, and I was angry that she played the Cancer-Card. After a few hours I felt like a monster.
Do you know what she emailed back to me? A thank-you! Ugh. That’s why I loved doing her hair. To be around this courageous woman is inspiring and, again, it’s a gift to me. She thanked me for treating her like a friend and “chewing” her out, because she sometimes gets in her own little world.
I won’t bore with the other two women’s stories. They were not so touching to me as this story. But I will tell you, one was a friend/client who, I felt, let me down, and she did not return my email. The other was my room-mate who let this awful woman sleep at our house, again, after the thankless woman basically left in a huff the first time; saying that she would stay with people who appreciated her the next time. My room-mate didn’t understand that I thought the houseguest used her as a doormat and also made me uncomfortable in my own home. Our Facebook messages to each other left me feeling that she didn’t understand what I was saying.
And what was I saying? Nothing. I was hiding behind my emails and messages. I was not allowing the person who, in my mind, I had conflict with, to actually hear my voice which also did not allow them to affect me. It didn’t matter if these ladies initiated the “conflict” via such communication avenues, I should have called them or talked to them in-person. I will do so in the future.

SO: I had a few calls to make. But I didn’t talk to my room-mate. But I am going to talk to that "houseguest" to make sure she doesn’t feel comfortable to stay at my apartment again.

E-Prime Extra Credit: When communicating, try not to use the verbs “to-be,” such as is or was. Some people use E-Prime as a mental discipline to filter speech and translate the speech of others. For example, the sentence "the movie was good" could translate into E-Prime as "I liked the movie" or as "the movie made me laugh". The E-Prime versions communicate the speaker's experience rather than judgment, making it harder for the writer or reader or communicator to confuse opinion with fact. The dog is a menace. Becomes... Joe says that the dog behaves like a menace.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E-Prime
http://www.nobeliefs.com/eprime.htm This link has the book listed. I recommend.
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Break the Biking Rules and Blog for Blago

You gotta love Illinois. First Blagojevich gets off easy and then, on the same evening, so do I! Mwah-ha-ha. Some of Blago’s alleged crimes were cheating, lying, attempted extortion, siphoning funds and selling senate seats. BFD. I broke some rules. Not BIG ones – but they were, at least, small to medium regulations. But I risked my life while breaking these rules; and then, when I got caught in the act, I had the balls to admit what I did and I still walked!
So there I was riding my bike south on Lincoln Ave approaching Wells where I would normally turn right. But up ahead there was someone in the street passing something to a passenger in a car (Tribune at this time of night?) before the light changed and the car drove on.
Oh great. What if I had I to stop at that same light and this person was going to try and sell me a StreetWise? Normally I would buy one but I didn’t have anyplace to put it if I did. My Yorkshire terrier, Junebug, was riding with her head popped out of my messenger bag which slung off one shoulder, and I was on my iPhone (forgot my headset) while riding with one hand.
As I got closer to the corner I realized that the person handing things out was actually a cute African American woman who was wearing reflectors on her arms. The reflectors reminded me of retro 90’s glow-sticks and were the only reason I had seen her at a distance because I wasn’t wearing my contacts which I really needed to see better at night.
Just as got to the corner, Reflecto-Chick jumped back onto the sidewalk and then a police officer jumped out in my path to replace her. Even if he didn’t yell at me to get off my bike and onto the sidewalk I would have recognized that he was real cop pulling me over. He was that close and under a street lamp.
I wasn’t mad that I had to hang up on one of my social networking friends. I was used to 140 character DM’s and tweet-communication with her anyway. Talking=exhausting! Besides I wanted to hang up and use my iPod for the rest of the way home. (I downloaded a new dance version of Katy Perry’s California Gurls.)
Reflecto-Chic turned out to named, Somalia, and a representative of the League of Illinois Bicyclists: Mayor Daley’s valiant push for bike safety, bike lanes and a greener city.
I was too nervous to ask the officer’s name because he kept asking me questions and then he informed me that I had broken the law by not having a light on the front of my bike. He also didn’t like seeing me talking on my phone while riding without a helmet. I think he held back because he thought I was going to cry because I was squinting but it was just because I lacked my contacts, which I did not mention.
The two people on the sidewalk must have rehearsed their good-Cop good-Samaritan routine because Somalia gave me a Chicago Bike Map and a handout for the “League” and told me that they were only concerned for my safety.
I told them that my friends constantly scolded me for not wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle when I lived in Long Beach, California. I thought it was perfectly okay because riders had the beach to their shoulders and long stretches of Pacific Coast Highway with no crazy cab drivers or buses to dodge. In those days I was “more me” than I am today and I also wouldn’t wear a helmet because it would mess up my hair. Besides, it wasn’t like I was going very fast or riding on the freeway, I rambled. I didn’t own a Harley. It was just a Honda Nighthawk, 360. Midnight blue. And it had a cowl-windshield. And it probably looked like the Batgirl Cycle. Had my friends pointed out that a helmet would have matched my motorcycle-riding-outfit...
I thought the officer was going to give me a ticket but, instead, he and Somalia pointed out that I was bald so I no longer had to worry about my hair being messed up and they let me go, Ticket-free. They could have let me go because they were laughing so hard and they both had to find a his and a hers bathroom to pee in because they were laughing so hard. I'm sure having cute Junebug didn't hurt either.
I think Blago should call me, I have the perfect defense for his retrial. (You cannot borrow Junebug!)

In lieu of a ticket for breaking the law, I promised to buy a helmet and get a light on my bike.

In retribution to society, I am supposed to ask you to please check out http://www.chicagobikes.org/
This website is by CDOT: the Chicago Department of Transportation and it has it all. It’s got popular links to other biking websites, safety videos, and the online version of the Chicago Bike Map (streets for cycling) that I was given by Somalia.

Mayor Daley has a great plan to make Chicago a better green city and having more bikes on the street than cars is just one part of the plan. www.bike2015plan.org
And check out Chicago’s Bike and Roll. A new Bike-Share program in Chicago. http://www.bikechicago.com/

www.activetrans.org/blog

Don't forget to comment and join this blog. I'll continue to make a fool of myself for good causes.

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Giving Hallmark a run...

Happy Birthday BLANK!
You're still just a kitten. So young. With your whole 3 out of 9 lives left ahead of you. You'll grow more fluffy everyday; hairy, really -- unless it all sheds off on your fav foofoo pillow. Your ears will droop and that scratchy personality won't be as cute as it was. Oh puss, puss, puss... Soon your meow-tabolism will stop purring and just putt. Dare I say, watch the Flabby - Tabby? And get used to being passed over for petting because there's always a new cat on your tail -- ready to take your place on the couch. Love ya, Snow-Balls. I really do. I'd put you down if it ever got too hard for you. I'm not being Catty. This is just pussy love.
Sign Here.

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Anthropologie on State St. in Chicago Wasting Energy

Hey Anthropologie, (I spelled it wrong when I originally sent it to them)I live and work in the gold coast of Chicago. I pass by your store on State St. everyday. I keep seeing your large front doors open and you have your air-conditioner running.
This is silly. You are wasting your own dollars. And you are unnecessarily making your carbon footprint much larger than you have to.
I went in to the store and asked a sales girl why a company that professes to be green would do this. She told me that they keep the doors open so the store looks more inviting.
I’m here to tell you that it is not.
As I informed the State St. manager, I will be “tweeting” and “Facebooking” about your waste until you close those doors; or until you get revolving doors, which will also save carbon output and energy in the winter.
Thank you, ahead of time. I know this is kind of an oversight and I’m going to assume you would like to fix this problem, save money, and keep being green.
Jon-David
UPDATE: this location has closed and one opened on Chicago Ave in its place. I hope they conserve energy at thier new location!

Contact them yourself if you like. service@anthropologie.com

(I didn't mean to take pic like that but I love the part of Anthr-"opologie" came out.

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Green for Beginners. Phase Two.

A greener home is the first place to begin making small changes to help the environment and create a healthier and more enjoyable place to live. Here are 10 simple steps to green up your life and change the planet. It’s Phase Two of GREEN for beginners!

1. Buy Only What You Need
Plain and simple-don't over purchase. AND DO consider the packaging. You might have to write to a product distributor and tell them that you love their product but you do not like thier wasteful packaging. Don't forget to bring your own shopping bags and wash them regularly. Plastic bags are doing serious damage to our oceans. And please pat yourself on the back for saving money!
2. Recycle, Recycle, Recycle!
Recycle, reuse, and properly dispose of all materials. Everything from plastic bags to construction materials. But, recycling is not just limited to the cans, glass, and paper we go though everyday. Call Tech recyclers to recycle your computers. Drop your old batteries at Walgreens.
3. Upgrade Your Light Bulbs
When your incandescent light bulbs burn out, replace them with energy efficient compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs). According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) CFLs use 2/3 less energy than traditional incandescent light bulbs and last 10 times longer. Making this upgrade saves you money and saves energy.
4. Use Green Cleaners or Make Your Own.
Buy only environmentally safe cleaners for your home and business. Phase out old traditional cleaners. You will breath easier in your home. You family will not be in constant contact with cancer causing agents. http://tinyurl.com/yfyzah7 (Green Cleaner Blog)
DO YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR WATER?
Not only do many traditional cleaners have cancer causing agents or allergy causing agents, they are terrible to put down the drain: It takes 11 Federal, State & City agencies to bring your water to you; and remove your waste water. They are over budget. They are overburdened by too much waste-water and rain. And they constantly have to expel unclean sewage water from your home directly into our rivers and lakes when there are heavy rains. And we all end up drinking the toxins and medicines that you threw down the drain.
5. Keep Your Gadgets Green
Electronics become outdated very quickly. To insure you are responsible with your gadgets, practice the following:
 Resist the urge to upgrade every time a "newer" or "cooler" gadget comes out. Reduce at the source-you save money and the time (and frustration) to learn how to operate and program the new gadget!
 Donate working electronics to charities or school programs that resell or refurbish them.
 Refill or recycle your inkjet or toner cartridges
 Close the recycling loop and buy recycled, post-consumer content paper for your printer. Most local office supply stores, such as Staples, offer a growing selection of environmentally friendly papers.
6. Conserve Every Drop
It take 11 agencies working together to bring Chicago its water. DID I SAY THAT ALREADY? And they are all overburdened with budget cuts, excess water run-off and water waste. So turn off the water faucet when brushing your teeth and shaving. Run the dishwasher and washing machine only when they are full; avoid small, partial loads. Cleaning your driveway or sidewalk by hosing it down with water wastes at least 80 gallons of water every time; Use a broom instead.
7. Adjust Your Thermostat
Have you ever heard of lowering your Carbon Footprint? Carbon gets into our air from Coal Power Plants. The less energy wasted in each home and business saves from putting more carbon into the atmosphere which is causing our Global Warming.
A few degrees difference in temperature can make all the difference in both your energy savings and your financial savings and keeping your personal Carbon Footprint lower.
8. Keep the Air Clean
Carpool, ride the bus, use public transportation, or bike to work. Cars + traditional fuels = Carbon!
9. Save the Trees
USE CLOTH NAPKINS INSTEAD OF PAPER NAPKINS. And use cloth instead of paper towels. You will save money and it is less energy and water and less trees wasted when you just throw rags in the washer. Pay your bills online: saving paper, time, and postage. As the price of paper cards and postage increases, consider emailing e-cards instead of mailing them out. Email documents and information instead of printing and mailing them. Whenever possible, save documents on your computer or on a disk instead of as a print copy in your filing cabinet.
10. No more plastic water bottles. Buy a non-aluminum water bottle to refill instead of continually buying water in plastic bottles. The water that the companies are harvesting is no better than Chicago tap water and we do not have any more room in landfills.

http://www.chicagoclimateaction.org/ is a great place to start for Phase Three of Green for Beginners. It has information on Carbon Footprint and what we can all do in Chicago.


Phase Three: The more you know about being green, the more you will sleep at night. It's kind of the opposite of what you originally thought about going green, huh? Because of my personal journey, I know that there are thousands of people doing their best to make this world a better place. The more that I have learned about what is available to me to be a better Green-guy, along with some personal action, the more I felt like I was part of making this world a better place. I'm doing my small part. It feels good.
http://www.mafiahairdresser.com/ for more.

Here are the 5 Phases of Green for Beginners.

• Phase One: Let the Idea of being green blossom and get rid of the mind chatter of why you would or would not be green.
  
• Phase Two: Take Action in your own home and your work place.
  
• Phase Three: Learn what is interesting to you about being green.
  
• Phase Four: Join a website or cause that you are interested in and learn and contribute your time, talents or dollars.
  
• Phase Five: Become a Leader in your own household or workplace or neighborhood.
  
  

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Green for Beginners. Phase one.

Are you thinking of being more Green? More environmentally minded? Do your thoughts sound like this?: "I know I should be more green." "I don't know where to start." "I don't want to start being green right now because I think it will cost me more money." "It just makes me sad when I find out why I have to be more green, so I don't want to start."
If you continue reading, you are in Phase One of being green. And Phase One is just like any new project: It starts with an idea, and then comes the mind-chatter. “I’m too busy.” “I can’t afford it.” “I’m not good enough.” “It’s no use.”
These are the sentiments that I've heard or felt myself on the topic of "Being Green." If any of these statements sound like like the thoughts in your own head, I'll ask you to let them go for a while. Bye-bye, anti-Green thoughts. Now, let me help you start your green engines so you can zoom-on to become the best Green-guy or Green-gal that you possibly can. You're not going to worry about actually doing anything this very second. You can can always take on more green as you grow. For now, just stay with the simple idea: "I want to be more green."
And what does being green mean? Being green simply means you care about yourself and your family and pets; and you want the place where you live to be a healthy environment. AND: as individuals, we all do our small part in contributing to making the world a happy place. With this simple view on being green, along with the idea that you want align with this simple thought, I believe you are already a green-guy/gal. I know that any further tools and knowledge that you will need will now come to you; one step at time, at the time that you need. You do not have to worry about each step or how much money it take, or what you will need. Let the idea bring the things that you need in it’s own time.
Poof! You are now a Green-person.

Here are the 5 Phases of being green. (None of which you have to worry about at this exact minute!)

• Phase One: Let the Idea of being green blossom and get rid of the mind chatter of why you would or would not be green.
  
• Phase Two: Take Action in your own home and your work place.
  
• Phase Three: Learn what is interesting to you about being green.
  
• Phase Four: Join a website or cause that you are interested in and learn and contribute your time, talents or dollars.
  
• Phase Five: Become a Leader in your own household or workplace or neighborhood.
  

In the next few weeks tune in and I’ll take your through the all the 5 Green Phases. I’ll give you Twitter and Facebook Friend suggestions that you can follow and websites that you can join so that you can pick up the information that you need for your home or personal interest.
Know that you are a caring person that has been given a gift of an idea: “I want to be more Green.” You are not going to do it overnight. And there is no "perfect." And remember: You are only responsible for your small part in making your environment the healthiest place that YOU can.

If you would like to start learning more now go to http://mafiahairdresser.com/ and go to the Green at Home section. I have lists of people and organization that are in my social network that are far better than me at providing you with information that would help you to be a better Green-Gal or Green-Guy.

Please order your copy of Mafia Hairdresser, the novel about my life as a hairdresser to a mob couple in the 80's, and subscribe to this blog!

Hotel Felix in Chicago

This is a rave for a Chicago Hotel. Five stars, two thumbs up, and a big hats-off to this environmentally conscious boutique inn. What originally caught my attention to the Hotel Felix, located at 111 W. Huron St., was that they had applied for their Silver LEED Certificate. For those of you who do not know, a LEED Certificate is an internationally recognized green-building point-rated system that is applied for and given to new and old buildings. Buildings in the Silver rated range must meet minimal requirements for energy savings, water efficiency, CO2 emissions reduction, improved indoor environmental quality, and stewardship of resources and sensitivity to their impacts. Building’s that are under construction must use as much of the old footprint or prior existing building, and recycle or reuse as much as possible of the old building that the new one will be replacing. From the outside, the Hotel Felix looks polished and pretty and the 1920's facade and signage looks like the old Gangster-Gotham that Chicago used to be. That’s because they used as many exterior and interior walls as they could and they tuck-pointed or replaced tiles/bricks/ frontage with the same type of materials that were originally used. (For more information about LEED Certification: http://tinyurl.com/y9lv3u7 )
The Hotel Felix is located in the River North District and is on the south-west shoulder of the Gold Coast. Just blocks from Michigan Avenue, the Chicago River, and conveniently located near the CTA Red and Brown Lines, the hotel is also near the path of the Red Double Decker bus tours stop located at The Hard Rock Cafe. Being so near public transportation and being a local business which encourages walking actually gives more LEED’s points to Hotel Felix. This also makes the hotel a great urban destination to visit or stay at for visitors and locals.
Do I sound like a professional sound piece for the Hotel? Not me. So far, I have never been influenced to write a review or article that I did not want to write. But I live only a few blocks from the hotel, so it is my neighbor. I always like to support (if I like it) my neighboring businesses. Also, the Hotel Felix was in my Twitter Social Network and I really liked, Molly, the voice of the Hotel. Through her "tweets," I learned of the Hotel’s LEED’s goals and of the many amenities that the hotel had to offer. And then I went to the restaurant in the hotel, ELATE.
Let me say this: I am a hairdresser, and if I recommend a restaurant, it is because I have heard more good things than bad about it—I’ve tried it—and I’ve loved it. Elate blew me away with its “American Market” cuisine, which means I was eating seasonal yummy dishes with grilled tomatillo, rhubarb, avocado, macadamia nuts, grilled beets, barata, and Pizza with pork lechon plus black beans, cotija cheese & pineapple mojo. All of the plates are small for share, so you don’t have to be scared or sorry that you didn’t walk down the street to Poritillo's for your regular mid-west fare. You can just stop in for a few appitizers--but you won't stop eating and you will get full--I assure you. And the prices range per plate is from $9 to $14 -- the low twenties for the bigger protein dishes. My favorite waiter is Jordan, “like the country.” He told me all about veteran Chef, Randal Jacobs, who hunts for local grown and organic foods which means that the menu will always be changing. Jordan has done much of my ordering for me. “Trust me,” he always says. I do trust him. And trust me when I say: order the beet dish and the brussels sprout dish if it's still on the menu. I never loved either, before now, and you’ll fall in love with them too. Menu to date and Chef bio: http://www.elatechicago.com/

The bar is zigzagged to accommodate sitters and yet one can still order a drink from the great bartenders. Outdoor seating is available although I love the insides with high ceilings, chandeliers, and big windows. On Elate’s website they call the decor “rustic and sophisticated” with many green elements incorporated into the design such as distressed concrete floors mixed with Herringbone patterned oak. Here’s a professional review from The Reader if you like: http://tinyurl.com/2592dr2

After many tweets and raves about Elate, I asked Molly if she could introduce me to George B. Jordan, the General Manager of the Hotel Felix. I thought, because I liked the restaurant and hotel, that I might write something about it, one day, if I found out anything I thought was interesting.

The first thing that was very interesting to me was the climate control in each individual room. Made by InnCom http://tinyurl.com/2c3ukdc Their software hardware system knows when a guest enters the room and immediately starts heating or cooling the room to the guests’ desired settings. And each room is boutiqued for spare-ity and function so that means Italian type designed beds with drawers underneath instead of bureaus, and closets that double as shelving. Of course there’s every amenity, Energy-Star Flat Screens, blow dryers and, of course, recycling baskets in each bath room. (They even recycle the unused shampoos and conditioner products!)

George gladly showed me around the hotel personally which was very cool. He's funny and his staff likes him and I noticed that he's a happy perfectionist. You won’t see many appliance cords “squimy-sqamin” around end-table legs or coming from the backs of the large flat screens in the conference rooms or media center. He would have wound each loose cord himself because I saw him unconciously do it once. And he very much understands that Social Media specialist like to link & log-in via wireless routers to big monitors so each meeting-room is now equipped to do so.

I think another stamp that George has put on the Hotel Felix is his love of art, which I really appreciate. (Plug: I’m room-mates with the Art Gallery Owner of Curly Tale Fine Art; close to the Hotel.) The very first thing George pointed out to me in the lobby was the Earth, Wind and Fire Element: which were the wall of precision-placed logs, blown glass hanging orbs, and tre-chic fire place. Everyone will notice “Loren the Doorman.” He’s the bright yellow and red sculpture of a happy hearty-sized doorman ready to hail your Chicago cab for you. George seems to be the art adviser and curator for the Hotel’s acquisitions and everyone gets to appreciate.
The staff seems genuinely happy and handsome. And I couldn't go on about the gym and the Spa, of which I have only toured but not used myself. But I can tell you that the Spa is run by ASHA, an Aveda lifestyle salon spa, so I know the staff is trained and professional and their prices are just the same as their downtown salon. (http://tinyurl.com/27y2gbl)

I’ll let you book your next room at Hotel Felix yourself. You’ll love my Chicago neighborhood and cherished neighbor just as much as I do. The spirit and extra effort in which it took to make a green hotel in Chicago is also put into the details such as no VOC paints, and non-toxic cleaners used for a healthy environment that has been beautifully designed and is also a pleasure to rave about. http://www.hotelfelixchicago.com/

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A comment about the right to marry spawns a Facebook debate.

The following is a Facebook feed from last November, 2009. The state of Maine had just taken away the rights of Gays and Lesbians to marry. I saw from the comments of my Facebook friends that they were justifiably upset. This was a travesty.

So I posted what, I thought, would be a positive spin on the situation. What happened was the responses I received got me thinking about why the religious right does not want gay marriage and how come they keep saying the word pedophile when we're talking about human rights? It's so stupid.

So I'll let the Facebook feed tell it's own story.

Of course, I'm going to comment...

November 2009

Mafia Hairdresser We're upset about Maine. And it just shows how much our own families and friends are still putting their money, good vibes and interests into right wing churches and causes. Are we all standing up to those friends and family and asking them to stop this practice because it hurts us? Personally, I may loose a few Facebook Friends because of this statement: “To my Friends and Family who can: Stop the right wing hate.”

Seven friends liked my status update and gave me thumbs ups. And then Friend #1 commented.

Facebook Friend #1 Right on. I too have lost friends in the past based on their political or religious beliefs. But I'm okay with that. We CHOOSE who we want in our life. And if others choose to create a life that does not involved critical thinking or engagement, then why choose to have them in your life?

That was cool. But I thought my point was that more that I was for something rather than against anything. And I wanted to say, hey, we’re all human:

Mafia Hairdresser I'm not pushing anyone away. I'm just saying, hey, I love you. Your kinship with this religious right is hurting me and my rights. Please look at that. I'm not walking away from anyone. I've totally been an asshole and people have graciously waited for me to wake up. It's the least I can do for everyone else.

Friend #1 got it.

Facebook Friend #1 Right on, redux!

Then…

Facebook Friend #2 I'm upset about Maine, too, doll. Humph. I just don't understand why this is an issue. You love someone; you should be able to marry them. Seems simple enough.

Should be.

Facebook Friend #3 None of my family OR friends are putting money or good vibes into right wing causes. I don't need people in my life like that.. voting to take rights AWAY from fellow citizens is just disgusting and very anti-American. I don't get it.

Facebook Friend #4 Allow the fantasy folks, aka religious, have theirs and allow the gay community to have ours. Allow us to go to fantasy hell. I'm ok with it.

Meh. Then my Facebook Friend in Seattle Washington chimed in. He’s a Democrat & Army Reservist. And has worked for many Democrat campaigns.

Facebook Friend WA WA. states domestic partnership law is passing. :) While it may not be marriage, it's now equal to! We've had it on the books for the last year and I'm so happy to see the voters here are not taking civil rights away.

This is where it got interesting. My buddy from high school, (a dude who was not-popular, bullied, and in the school band), decided that my Facebook wall was a good place to “educate.” This man is white. Has kids. And he’s an elementary teacher and now, obviously, “religious.”

Facebook High School Friend It's not about hate, I still love you man. It's about preserving the family unit, which has all but dissolved. Without that, we live in an amoral society where there are no values left to teach our children.

Facebook Friend #5 You’re right. It's not all about hate and all about ignorance. Your family will not dissolve if I create my own family unit.

Facebook High School Friend I totally agree. I don't think it's right for people to tell others how to live their life. But then it should go both ways I have problems with laws that say my children should be forced to learn about sexual lifestyles at a young age, with no opt-out available for me as a parent.

At this time, I’m not reading any of this stuff. But when I did, I’m like, what?! How did we move on to children and teaching them about “sexual lifestyles?”
Even though I was engaged once, to a Canadian (hated it), I just want all people of the United States to have the right to get married – to whomever they wanted – unless it’s between a Buddhist Chinese man and an Islamic African American Woman. I just think that would be such a confusing wedding ceremony to pull off.

Facebook Friend WA That's not true. Parents have the right to allow their child not to attend those classes. Permission slips come home asking the parent if they want their child to hear that type of information. If they choose not, then the child is usually sent to a study hall or the library. At least that is how it's done in WA. So you're wanting to preserve the "idea" of a family unit. Sorry that has long since been dissolved. From the first time a husband and wife who had children got a divorce. With over 50% of marriages ending in divorce today the "father + mother + 2.5 children" is, sadly, a rare occurrence. But why shouldn't children who are raised by 2 moms and 2 dads think that there is any less normal than any other family? Any child raised in a loving nurturing home should know that this is the right place to be; no matter who is raising them. To teach otherwise is to teach discrimination or shame. Meaning: those children being raised by above (right wing mentioned families).

Oy. All I really wanted to say was “Hey gays, come out of the closet, in everyway, and tell your friends and family that by voting against marriage equality, you’ll never be able to get married to the person you want.”
This Facbook feed was getting too racy, for even me, so I tried to tie it up in a little bow and end it.

Mafia Hairdresser Good talk, men. And it just shows how far we have to go. When anyone feels that a marriage between two men or two women takes away from something, or when anyone feels that gays and lesbians are a threat instead of just another one of Gods peoples, it just show how much money and time is spent on those thoughts that have no basis. We'll get there. Just keep talkin and breakin' bread with each other.

High School Friend really has a beef with the educational system so he goes on:

Facebook High School Friend Here is a website which shows how parents have no right to opt out. It's being appealed in Federal court, because it is a violation of the constitution: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=100678What makes me so angry is that I'm considered to be a bigot if I don't want my own children exposed to sexual teachings in kindergarten.

At first, I did not go onto the link posted. And I don’t have kids. And yet I support High School Friend to raise his kids anyway he sees fit. I didn’t think I believed in teaching “sexual lifestyle” to anyone at any age in public schools. But once I read the article in the link, I thought, hey, they are just trying to tell kids that gay exists. (This is where I know you’ll groan ha-ha and eww…!) I know it’s a “touchy” subject, but I know a few heterosexual men who were not molested as young men but actually did the “natural” experimenting with the same sex when they were young. Shame and confusion followed some of them and I wondered, if they were taught the difference between gay and straight and bisexual, might this have prevented their confusion or pain? Is it promoting a gay lifestyle by telling kids it’s there? Or are you preparing your kids to not to hate but appreciate? I think there would be a lot of heterosexual boys that would go, “I’m not that, because I know what that is-and I am not that.” WARNING: And yet, if you have a homosexual kid, they’re going to fly out of the closet at thanksgiving dinner a lot sooner than the demise of their first marriage. So, I was pulled in to the conversation. I was moved to think beyond my original support shout for gay marriage. I was really thinking about why it was so scary to whoever could be afraid of it.

Facebook High School Friend The family unit is destroyed. The lack of fathers in the household has led to much crime, and the disintegration of our society. But no matter which way you slice it, you still need both sperm and an egg to reproduce. Sorry fellas!

That was just stupid.

Facebook Friend #5 I live on a block that has 2 parents who happen to be gay and they have 2 kids. This is a family and that family is not taking anything away from yours. Sperm and the egg produced their 2 kids but an adoption made the family complete. The family unit lives on my block.

Facebook High School Friend I totally understand what you mean. That family doesn't affect mine. But what does affect mine is the secular humanistic agenda that says "if it feels good, do it." That kind of teaching leads to an amoral society with no values. In California we now have Harvey Milk Day. It's great to honor someone who was persecuted, but does it have to be a pedophile? I affect my children to have to sit in public school and by law be forced to honor someone like that. Why not have an Adolph Hitler day then? He was just “living his life,” right? I mean where does it end?pedophile? It affects my children to have to sit in a public school, and by law be forced to honor someone like that.Why not have an Adolph Hitler day then? He was just "living his life," right? I mean, where does it end?

Now I got it. High School Friend is a little nuts. I do remember him in high school a little clearer.

Facebook Friend #5 OMG. Be well. And live long.

Facebook Friend #5 must have realized that Facebook High School Friend was talking nuts too, so, after this his last message, he un-friends me. And then puts up a Facebook block on Facebook High School Friend and then re-friends me.

Facebook High School Friend Here are excerpts from Harvey Milk's Biography:Randy Shilts, a homosexual San Francisco Chronicle reporter, wrote a favorable and sordid biography of Milk in "The Mayor of Castro Street." The 1982 book detailed Milk's sexual relationships with a 16-year-old, a 19-year-old and other young men: "...sixteen-year-old McKinley was looking for some kind of father figure...At 33, Milk was launching a new life, though he could hardly have imagined the unlikely direction toward which his new lover would pull him." (pages 30-31) "It would be to boyish-looking men in their late teens and early 20's that Milk would be attracted for the rest of his life." (page 24) "Harvey always had a penchant for young waifs with substance abuse problems." (page 180) And this is going to be celebrated in our schools? Nice.

We now went from taking away the right to marry from people in Maine to more Harvey Milk. What is High School Friend reading and why is he taking the time to Facebook this stuff in a realm where it can do no good for his “cause?” He’s a teacher?
This is where I wrap it up. I think the feed proved a point. People are still afraid of gays. And I think it’s just plain mean to not let gays marry each other. There are no arguments based in fact that should support a continued ban on such simple human rights. And, after all these years, the religious right wingers still like to say pedophile and homosexual in the same sentence, even though that will never make it true. I could take a shot at the pedophile priests, but I feel sad for them and their victims. I believe that those priests opted to keep their religion and suppress their sexuality and that f__ked them up. I also believe that if their victims could have been a little more educated on what sexuality was, gay and straight, they might have been able to defend themselves or reported the abuse sooner.
All this from a little Facebook update.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________


The following is the rest of the Feed that I felt too boring and weird for me. But have at it, if you like.



Facebook Friend WA OK last I checked any one over the age of 18 is considered an adult. That does not make some one a pedophile. Why does the conversation always head in that direction when people talk about homosexual men? Stats show there are far more hetro males who rape and are pedophiles and any other group. Even while a young girls case is renewed because she was located after what 18 years. That was a married couple who did this disgusting thing, that's the morality you want taught? Yes this was a loving family the husband and wife kid napped her but they raised her as if she were theirs. Never mind that they raped her repeatedly forced her to have two children (in the back yard) and raped the children. Both it's ok they were a married hetro couple so that the morality begin. talk about teaching "if it feels right do it" sadly comments like that make you look ignorant we're not in the 60's anymore. And he was not just persecuted he was MURDERED for defending human rights. I'll bet you watch COUGAR Town and laugh and think nothing of it. Again a double standard. When an older man has sex with a younger woman it fine, and now we have shows glamorizing older women having sex with young men. But man when a LGBT person has sex with a legal aged younger person their instantly labeled as pedophiles. Here Preacher, Preacher Preacher bring on those alter boys and girls. Yes another moral value taught by the religious right, oh wait they covered that up for how many years. I do have to give you credit for reading the bio, or did you gather that from another gay bashing web site?As for Hitler he too murdered homosexuals, so please let’s learn more about what a hate monger can do when left alone to quietly preach HATE to millions of people allowing for the exterminations of nearly 2.5 million Jews. Oh wait there's an entire section during HISTORY class already dedicated to him. It's called WORLD WAR 2!!!!!!!

Facebook Friend WA Looking at your web site I understand if you don’t want your child to learn tolerance, why should others be excluded. By teaching children to except their peers and to acknowledge that families can be different is a bad thing, really????From the site, “In kindergarten, the schools plan to introduce children to "The New Girl … And Me" by Jacqui Robins. The book is about a young girl who is new at a school and strikes up a friendship with another girl after a popular boy refuses to play with her.Not sure how this is considered sexual. Guess one really has to read between the lines to pick that out. As for the opt-out choice I'm sure your child has missed school because of an illness, a Dr. apt, something. If you truly don’t want them to be informed then keep them home that day. There you have opted out! You're not considered a bigot for not wanting your child exposed to sexual teachings in kindergarten. You're considered a bigot when you only want your child excluded from certain sections of said lessons. They even list the lesson plan number, what are the other lessons they teach in the sexual health class? Why were the other lesson plans not listed? Because the author was focused on the fact that teaching tolerance of the LGBT people is bad. She even goes so far as mentioning the amount of money that will be spent ($8,000) of a multi million dollar budget. Yep they're going to break the bank with that lesson plan. How many students are in the Alameda school district? And why not teach about leaders, artist, writers etc who just so happened to be LGBT. Are you implying that if you're gay you're not able to contribute to society? Oh let those moral values shine.So question, how many times a day does your religion require prayer and for how long? Hourly, 10 times a day for 15 minutes inquiring minds. Because I know when I pray it's usually for less than a minute and more times than not no one even knows I'm doing it. So why does there need to be dedicated time during the school day for children to pray. it can be done before, between classes, during lunch after school. That does not mean people are intolerant to religion. If you want your child to be able to pray in school send them to private school. Because you're footing the bill the rules for church and states separation don’t apply. Your child can pray for the entire day with out a care in the world. Oh wait no they can’t because they too have a lesson plan that must be followed, but at least you know they wont be taught about all those amoral, pedophile LGBT people in the world

Facebook High School Friend The part you're ignoring is the part where Harvey had relationships with 16 year olds. In my country, that's pedophilia. And I agree with you that all pedophiles should be put away, no matter what the sexual orientation. No, I don't want my children to be exposed to this in school. No, pedophiles should not be celebrated in school. As I said before, you have the double standard. You want others to be tolerant of you, but you're not willing to tolerate anything but your own ways.

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